It is likely that if you are reading this blog that you have heard of the specious existence of something called the “midlife crisis”. By definition this tends to afflict people of age exceeding 40 who have managed their lives adequately to say they are at least marginally successful. Symptoms include depression, doubt, anxiety, lack of professional fulfillment and general malaise in regards to what the future holds for a given individual. It also might just be an artificially generated social dysfunction depending on who you ask. Plenty of adults will go through life without experiencing this period of disillusionment, but it should not be overlooked in its importance as almost a rite of passage in American society.
The essays to follow will attempt to analyze what could have been considered this rough patch in my own life and how it applies to my brief lifetime on this planet so far. I think it is important to approach the subject with levity because I personally don’t have any reason to believe that my life has incurred any more hardship than anyone else living in a developed nation with the world’s most powerful economy that is backed by its most powerful military. Further, I would argue that so long as you aren’t afflicted with mental depression or instability, are not crippled, and have full reign over your physical faculties then you are in a good position to provide you and those around you a normal and healthy life. That’s not to account for the unexpected.
The Boy Who Lived
Saigon, Vietnam 1973, the war is turning against the United States as they desperately continue to engage an undefeatable enemy and convince an increasingly doubtful American public that the cause is not lost. On the ground the events unfolding reveal the true nature of a conflict that has raged out of control and turned a civil war into a global chess move that everyone is scrutinizing. The great American Empire pitted against the growing threat in an unheard of sliver of Southeast Asia is losing its stake. In this war torn country, families are destroyed on a daily basis. Towns and villages consumed by fire and death while those left behind can scarcely pick up the pieces let alone rebuild the world they once knew.
Although the U.S. will not officially withdraw from the country until 1975, the brass at the top could see the writing on the wall and they merely sought to prolong the conflict that was filling military industrial coffers for the past several years while maintaining the appearance of fighting “the good war” for the sake of freedom. Perhaps the only thing that surpassed the amount of caskets returning from the war was the amount of orphans that overwhelmed this small nation. There were infants who no longer had mothers or fathers to raise them and were destined to either die of disease, famine, war itself, or to inherit a thoroughly razed nation that would attempt to rebuild itself in the following decades. But there was a silver lining.
Back in the United States, a coalition of parents who were appalled at the effects of war and its collateral effect on the civilians of the distant country decided to take action. If they could not save the civilian casualties of the conflict, perhaps they could do something about their future generations? Organizations were formed to seek out families who were willing to adopt orphans from Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. These infants would be matched to approved families and become naturalized U.S. citizens. Needless to say, the words you are reading are written from one of the hundreds of benefactors of this program.
A “Normal” Upbringing
American life is determinedly quite different from that of a culture on the opposite side of the world. Vietnam and a small-town in the Midwest may seem worlds apart but that does not matter to someone who does not know the difference and assumes whatever culture they are raised in as their own. Adoptees from birth or a very young age know only those who have nurtured them. Outside opinions of the “purity” of foreign babies and any innate, hidden intuitions towards corruption are merely conjectures of paranoia. I, like the other orphans who were accepted into American households, was raised as a typical all-American youth. Educated in American schools, playing American sports, taught the traditions and customs of the family who raised us, and absolutely indoctrinated with a sense of national identity and pride. Not until perhaps adolescence or even adulthood do children adopted into families of differing ethnicity begin to question their own identities and what could have been. Ideally they have experienced supportive and nurturing upbringings and are furnished the resources they need to become functional, responsible adults. This does not mean that pursuing one’s origins is out of the question or cultural blasphemy in any way.
From a non-American point of view becoming an American in the 20th century was the goal and envy of many. Why wouldn’t someone want to be part of a country that had ascended to the top status in a single, short period of time? Less than three generations separated the children of World War II to the Cold War era. America was reaping the spoils of the arms race, the space race and even the culture race. Cutting edge technology now became everyday life complete with modern appliances, a booming auto industry and growing media exposure that helped show off all of America’s new toys across a growing global market. To be honest, growing up in America during the 80’s and 90’s was a gaudy, loud party that no one wanted to end.
If other orphans shared my opinion of their new ancestry then they had few complaints and realized that this new country provided the opportunity to follow paths and ambitions beyond the humble traditions that their birth countries had offered. Although many returned to their origins to search for family or experience the culture, few denounced that they had become American by default. In the coming years, advances in genealogy tracking would allow anyone to truly trace their roots to their original parents and family trees. As this generation grew, it assumed the generation that the country was determined to show to the world. This consisted of a diverse and progressive group riding the wave of social movements that closed out the 20th century. These ‘Boomers’ were perhaps the most enlightened generation the country had ever produced.
Then came September 11, 2001.
The New Pearl Harbor
The 80’s kids had grown up watching the attempted assassination of President Regan, the explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger, even the bombing of the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. They were nothing like that day, but neither was the Kennedy Assassination or the attack on Pearl Harbor. 9/11 was uniquely 21st century. A new method of conflict for a new generation. Immediately everyone knew that this would bring war back to the Middle East and as inaccurate as it was, the second invasion of Iraq and now Afghanistan was being compared to the war that still reverberated through history since the 60’s: Vietnam.
If you were born in the 70’s, then the age of your mid-20’s it is a bit early for a midlife crisis. Still, 9/11 gave everyone a moment of pause. Not only was it the most significant event of the new century, but it symbolized the end of a relatively long period of passivity for the U.S. It was also one of few events in decades that most of the leading nations of the world agreed was not only unsupportable but a unilateral act of war. In the decade that followed the U.S. poured resources, money and lives into the Middle East essentially making the entire region occupied territory. Soviet Russia has long since collapsed and this allowed the coalition formed by America to turn its undivided attention towards al Qaeda and the Taliban. It also allowed the colossus of China to grow quietly and rapidly in the East. The world was changing again, quickly forgetting the mistakes of the 20th century.
Loss
Anyone who has lived for 50 years has probably experienced the loss of those close to them. Usually this first comes in the form of grandparents or perhaps great grandparents if they are fortunate. This is followed by extended family members such as aunts, uncles and even the tragic losses of cousins or nieces and nephews. Then there are the closer losses of friends and immediate family. We all know that nothing is guaranteed in life and anything can happen at any time. Even the young are not immune to the suddenness of chance, accidents, poor decision making and concealed health afflictions.
My adoptive mother died in her 60’s when I was in my 30’s. She was a survivor of breast cancer who saw it redouble as pancreatic cancer. I was not the first in my group to experience this, I already had a friend who had lost his mother to cancer and we were to be followed by several others who saw their matriarchy pass under the cruel and methodic march of various forms of cancer. I considered myself fortunate to have lived to adulthood and have known both parents for so long. There are many who do not.
Cancer is an aberration of the normal human or animal cell. It grows opportunistically consuming all it can in order to propagate and survive within a host. There are some who say that it is an “evil” disease. However to declare the various forms of cancer as evil is just as ludicrous as declaring a cavity or baldness evil. The declaration is not reasonable as things such as cavities and gene patterns are merely instances of biological opportunism. Cavities occur when poor dental health or chromosomal patterns are conducive to decay just as baldness occurs when a pattern of hair growth is interrupted generation to generation. I don’t regard cancer as some evil entity that seeks to destroy humanity. It is a non-sentient organism focused on propagation and survival. It does not choose its victims so much as its victims place themselves in harm’s way through a combination of poor health choices, specific environmental factors and genetic traits inherited from their ancestors. Mortality is a fate that we all must face.
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